


a hurricane inside my ribcage

by lesbianchiyo



Series: Deaf Ren Au [3]
Category: Ookiku Furikabutte | Big Windup!
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Deaf Mihashi Ren, M/M, Sign Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25922977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianchiyo/pseuds/lesbianchiyo
Summary: Ren confesses.
Relationships: Abe Takaya/Mihashi Ren
Series: Deaf Ren Au [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1875820
Comments: 2
Kudos: 47





	a hurricane inside my ribcage

**Author's Note:**

> [fuzzybrain](https://youtu.be/SXpw7Z2atGk)

Ren was the last one to leave the club room, Tajima apparently had a study session with Hanai and Takaya left as soon as he finished getting dressed; supposedly he had to help a classmate? Ren didn't really get the specifics. During practice they only talked about baseball and Takaya had left too quickly he didn't have time to ask him about his plans. 

Not that he was brave enough anyway. 

Ren struggled with the lock around his bike for a couple minutes and when he was finally able to get it unlocked he looked over to where Takaya always kept his bike, and sure enough it was there. The plain black bike was boring, Tajima and Takaya had had a fight about it which ended with Takaya saying it's better not to stick out on a ride home, or to school. 

Ren looked from the bike to the front doors of the school, should he wait? He always waited, but this was different. Maybe he should wait, riding home alone made his nerves go wild. 

He couldn't hear, Takaya always watched out for cars, always made him aware of the surroundings. Takaya was like the hearing he had lost, Takaya filled up the missing sense. 

So maybe he should wait, but how long would he take? What was he even doing…if a classmate needed help, it could take hours and Ren didn't want to worry his mother… 

The front doors of the school opened, and Ren watched in horror as Takaya exited the building… with a girl. 

She was pretty, Ren had to admit she was pretty. A part of him wanted to move closer, hide behind the racks closer to the school so he could figure out what they were talking about. He wished he could hear, his heart dropped when they stopped at the bottom of the steps. 

He couldn't read their lips, couldn't hear them… but Takaya was smiling. He was smiling, Ren's hand shook, his bike hitting the side of the rack. 

It must have made a sound, because they turned in his direction. Ren bit back the want to run away, every part of his body itching to move. 

Takaya's smile dropped, and so did the girl's. She looked between him and Ren before covering her mouth. They continued their conversation like that, her hand curved over her mouth and Takaya's eyes anywhere but him. 

By the time Takaya was done talking, Ren was already across the lot and towards the front gates. He decided he'd walk his bike, it was always more risky to ride it alone. If someone honked or— Takaya was smiling. It was a smile Ren had never seen before, who even was that girl? A classmate obviously, but who? 

Ren didn't understand why his heart felt heavy in his chest, or why it continued to grow heavier and heavier with each passing second. Or was it climbing up into his throat? 

Ren stopped, taking a deep breath of air. His chest heaving, his throat tight and his chest heavy. 

He saw the wheel of Takaya's bike before he saw Takaya. The boy was smiling when he stopped next Ren, hands gripping the handlebars as he dropped a foot to keep himself balanced.

"Hey—" 

Ren looked away, swallowing the lump growing in his throat, but it grew back when Takaya reached a hand out to pull on his sleeve. 

He tried to force it down, turning his head to meet Takaya's confused one's, before slowly moving his attention onto his lips. 

His heart banged uselessly against his ribcage, almost like it was trying to escape his chest. 

"Why'd you wait?"

Ren shrugged, trying to swallow the lump in his throat for the third time. 

"You didn't have to."

Ren nodded, "I--" He stopped when he noticed a crowd of students passing. They were talking and when they noticed Ren they covered their mouths. Takaya watched in horror his mouth dropping as he looked between the passing crowd and Ren. 

Ren pulled his bike closer to his side, and once it was balanced against his hip he raised both hands. Takaya watched him carefully. 

_"I'm okay. Sorry for waiting, I didn't mean to."_

"Do they always do that?" 

Ren blinked, grabbing his handlebars again. He looked towards the school gates and then behind him before opening his mouth to speak. 

"Can you? I didn't catch. I couldn't—"

"Do they always do that?"

Ren gripped the handlebars of his bike tighter, blinking up at Takaya. He… Takaya repeated without complaining. Ren knew he shouldn't be surprised, everybody on the team did, but when Takaya did it… Ren just, well Ren just got blown away. 

"D-do what?"

Takaya frowned, "Cover their mouths."

Ren nodded, and Takaya's frown deepened. 

"Do you… Do you want to grab ice cream with me?"

Ren froze...ice cream with Takaya? Ren nodded. 

"I've also learned some more sign language… I was going to show you before practice but I didn't get the chance."

"T-taka…" Ren's hands started to shake, his heart trying to escape his chest and throat tight. "Taka-Takaya's amazing."

Ren watched Takaya's cheeks flush, a light red against his tan skin. Takaya looked away to what Ren imagined was to cough into his sleeve. 

Takaya lifted both his hands to awkwardly sign out, _"Thank you."_

And Ren beamed, his lips growing into a painful smile as his heart banging just as painfully against his chest. 

Takaya waited for Ren to get situated on his bike before moving forward. He always went in front, in case he had to stop Ren and he always made sure to stay at a steady pace. 

He smiled softly when he passed, looking back every once in a while to make sure Ren was following. 

There was something weird about riding a bike when he couldn't hear…he knew what he was missing out on. 

He hadn't always been deaf but when his hearing started to fail so did his memories. 

He could feel the wind whipping against his arms, the tips of his ears and pushing his hair in and out of his face, but he couldn't hear it. He didn't hear the rush of wind pressing against his ear drums, it was just quiet. 

It was just _lonely_. 

Takaya held his hand up, a motion he used when telling Ren to stop, and Ren pressed back on the pedal, his bike stopping just a few inches behind Takaya's. 

The car passed quickly and then Takaya was moving again, Ren following behind him quietly. Their pace started to slow as they reached the small convenience store and the wind whipping past Ren's face stopped. 

When they turned into the mostly empty parking lot, Takaya stopped his bike just left of the entrance and next to the one lone bench He dropped a foot to kick down the petal, and Ren did the same stopping next to him.

The parking lot was lit by two street lights, the sky slowly dimming into a mix of oranges and reds. Takaya slid off his bike, dropping his backpack onto the bench to dig out his wallet. Ren moved to do the same, but Takaya stopped him with a hand on his wrist. 

"I'll pay. What do you want?"

Ren was taken aback, pulling his hand away quickly. His heart was still pounding painfully against his ribcage, he could feel it pounding around his head, around his whole body. 

"Just a… . ice cream sandwich."

Takaya nodded, slipping his wallet into his jeans pocket, before lifting both his hands up. Ren watched with wide eyes… Takaya had started getting better at sign language after the Mihoshi Game. And Ren was still surprised, because why was he trying so hard for him? Why was anyone trying so hard for him? He had gotten through middle school just fine without everyone knowing sign language, but it was easier. Being around everyone on the team was easier when there was more than one way to communicate and it made a great way to distract the other teams. They all thought it was another sign, maybe something for a squeeze play, a run. 

"Wait here."

Ren nodded, sitting down next to his and Takaya's bags. He watched Takaya enter the convenience store, the door swinging shut behind him. 

It was weird, Takaya was acting weird. Ren placed a hand against his chest, he could feel his heart pounding against his hand, and he took a deep breath. 

He wanted to say it. And by it, he wanted to say what had been haunting his mind for months, what would catch his breath away everytime they got two outs. He wanted to say what had almost slipped past his lips two weeks ago at their sleepover, he wanted to hold Takaya's hand… _again_.

Takaya appeared a couple minutes later, two ice cream sandwiches in his hand. He handed one to Ren, before settling down next to him. 

Ren nodded in thanks before carefully tearing off the top of the wrapper, Takaya waited till he had Ren's attention to start talking. 

"Okay, so you know how…" He started on the wrapper of his own ice cream sandwich, "My sign language isn't the best?"

"I-It's better than. My dad still has trouble."

Takaya laughed, his lips twisting into a bright smile and Ren's heart twisted painfully. He bet it sounded as pretty as it looked. 

"Well I learned more than just basic conversation topics and baseball terms."

"L-like what?"

Takaya handed Ren his ice cream, and Ren took it carefully, keeping all his attention on Takaya. 

_"The weather's nice today."_

"T-that's—"

_"I'm kidding, I'm kidding… Why didn't you tell me people were covering their mouths?"_

Ren's heart dropped, "I-I- I didn't think. It's not that big of… It doesn't m-matter."

_"Yes it does."_

Ren shook his head, "I-it doesn't b-bother… me."

Takaya dropped his hands, lips twisting into a frown as he grabbed his ice cream from Ren. 

"But doesn't it re—"

"I-it doesn't matter… Taka. It-It doesn't bother me bec-because Taka t-thinks I'm-I'm n-normal."

Takaya's face flushed again, and so did Ren's. His chest was starting to hurt now, the vibrations of his heart so strong he thought he could feel the bench moving. 

Takaya's face contorted into a mix of a cough and a sneeze as he ducked his head to take a bite from his ice cream. 

"I-is that girl… do you have a girlfriend?"

Takaya's eyes grew to the size of bowling balls and his face flushed an even darker red, "What? No!"

"O-oh… Taka. You just… looked happy so I th-thought."

"She's not my girlfriend."

"O-oh then does Taka… d-do you like her?"

"Why do you know her?"

Ren shook his head. 

"No, I don't like her."

"D-does Taka l-like… anyone."

Takaya went rigid, taking another bite of his ice cream as he stared off into the almost empty parking lot. 

Ren thought his heart was going to jump out of his chest, and he welcomed the cool ice cream (maybe it'd calm him down) and bring his burning skin down to room temperature. 

Takaya looked back towards Ren and this time their eyes met. Takaya's green eyes large and sparkling. 

Something inside of Ren clicked. 

His heart slowed, he almost thought it had stopped as he leaned in. Closer and closer to Takaya's face, so close he thought he could count his eyelashes and then—

Takaya stopped his movements with a hand on his shoulder, pushing Ren back softly. 

"Are you…okay?"

Ren shook his head without thinking, his heart so quiet he thought he was dying. And Takaya's frown deepened and the sparkles in his eyes seemed to die out. 

"What's… wrong?"

He did it without thinking, lifting up the sign without realizing how stupid he looked. He treated it like his mother had just opened his door to say good night and all he could muster was a sign. 

Takaya's eyes filled with confusion, and Ren's heart started up again. Banging, pounding against his ribcage, begging for release. And Ren wished he could pull apart his ribs and let it jump from his body, he would do better without the painful feeling of his heart dancing around his chest. 

"T-two outs?"

Ren shook his head. 

"Then what?" Takaya's face was pulled into a look of irritation, a very familiar look. 

"I-I. It means. I-I-.... Love. Y-you."

All the color drained from Takaya's face. 

**Author's Note:**

> no words. 
> 
> yes they'll be a part four where they actually get together, but it's not a killie fic without angst. taka's just confused, he'll figure it out.


End file.
